This little blip came through organically through a conversation the other day. It was cool because I have been eager to learn leadership skills and confidence within myself lately. Whether it be for learning business skills, wanting to be in a leadership role one day, to be the go-to for confident support when others need it, and/or simply to have a little more self-love. So I thought it was fitting.

“Be the gracious loser”. Own up to your mistakes, take control from there on out and fix the situation to the best you can. No one will respect you more than when you own up to a mistake.

I was watching an interview the other day with Jocko Willink, an ex navy seal, and he was talking all about leadership skills (I will link it here). He says if you’re in charge of a group, every action that is taken within that group is under your responsibility. So in other words, no matter how far down the totem pole or how far across the world johnny-joe may be…if he is on your team and he accidentally pushes the wrong button, takes a wrong turn, says the wrong thing, or is simply slacking and something bad happened…that is up to you to fix and you can’t point any fingers to anyone but yourself for what went wrong. You should have made sure Johnny boy knew what to do, you should have made sure he was educated on his task and you should have made sure he was one the same page as you and the rest of your team. Once you’ve realized that is your fault, you acknowledge it to the team, be that gracious loser, and then tell/discuss with them how you are all going to execute it from there on out to make sure the rest runs as smoothly as possible.

Confidence within leadership is a huge, huge thing as well. Even just the way you present yourself physically. The way you carry yourself and the way you walk. Holding your shoulders high with your head up makes a huge impact on how impact a group of people you may be leading and it will impact the trust they have with you just from the first glance at you.

Belief in yourself is the key to confidence. When you don’t believe in yourself there is no confidence to be had. Once you grasp this belief that you can, this new found confidence will make you shine brighter than ever before. That will be the light that will lead you into the fog of obstacles but always allowing you to have a vision with ten feet of light always in-front of you as long as you stay grounded with that belief.

I’ve come to so many scenarios where I’m:

A.) afraid to be wasting someones time as I am trying to solve an issue for them as they are in a hurry. So then my brain just seizes up and I go straight to someone who I know will have the answer. Whereas once the moment has passed and I allow myself to think about the scenario in my mind, I then realize if I had just given myself an extra ten seconds to take a solid moment to think of what I could do to fix the situation, I would have been able to figure out the answer right then and there.

So my advice to you on the latter –– breathe, take a hot minute and know that there is an answer and you really can work your way through it if you give yourself the belief, space and time to do so. Pretend no one is in-front of you waiting (so much easier said than done, I know) as this is a moment for you to grow. Be selfish, take the opportunity for yourself to learn. And at the end of the day, that person will be okay waiting that extra minute or…ten.

B.)I’m afraid of making people think that I believe I am superior to them by telling them what to do. But honestly, groups need leaders otherwise everyone would be off doing their own thing and it would be a gong show. People get distracted, people get off track, people slack, etc. Many people actually like direction. They like being told what to do because then they have something to work toward and not walking around doing nothing. So, I’m teaching myself how to be like that incredibly kind hearted mom who still knows how to kindly lay down the law when needed to delegate tasks to help people and help the team. I think a major aspect of this is how you words your sentences to people. So keep that in mind.

This is all in practice for myself but I will say, just practicing these things and actually actioning them also helps build confidence within yourself. I’m no navy seal but those are just two examples from my life that I’m sure can seem quite relatable to many.

Moral of all this is own up to your mistakes and your teams mistakes as your own rather than pointing fingers as it turns into a bad chain reaction and then nothing gets done. It’s all under your umbrella and whatever happens under that umbrella is on you, my friend. Being the gracious loser will gain respect from the ones around and they will definitely look up to you.
Without good leaders this world would be waaaack.

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